Doing the Right Thing

Sometimes the toughest things to do are the right things.
At first I thought, I can handle this. It's just a jealousy thing. But I realized, all my other friends who got married didn't have the same problem. Their husbands loved them well. They didn't talk to girls freely. They only talked to girls if there were important things to deal with, like work, or selling goods, and those conversations never were long and draggy; always short and straight to the point.

I realized, long and draggy conversations, with a hint of joking around was hurting me too much.
and the fact that when he talked to her he didn't even come to talk to me too. It hit me. He has the time to talk to her, and he didn't even care less to say hi to me.

the last message i ever saw from him was,
"whoever im chatting with, or whoever i wanna talk to is my right. i never looked through your facebook messages, i never even opened your facebook. so plz. if you're so jealous, don't go looking around my fb account."

why was it striking me like a dagger through my heart?

maybe because "his right" was so unfair. he can flirt with whoever he wants, but i can only be silent at my spot. when he's not around i can only play with myself or call up my best friends who never have the time any more for hangouts.

i know where this is leading to. surely sooner or later those "friendly feelings" will change. and i'm not gonna hang around and watch. it was unbearable the last time. i don't wanna go through it again.

if you want the free will to talk with other girls, i'm sorry... maybe i was never meant for you, because i can't cope with that. i just want someone who cares for me. someone who loves me so much he won't hurt me by doing things he knows I'll get jealous about.

I don't mind him talking with other girls. I really don't. but keep them short and straight to the point.

nevermind. it has passed. i'm going to swoop low now. no more getting hurt.